Ceremony One

This ceremony was written for a traditional, semi-formal, "spiritual but not religious" wedding. It includes adaptations from the Handbook of Religious Services published by the Church of the Larger Fellowship.  The vows include two formats (repetitive and responsive) with the bride and groom alternating repeating after the officiant and then alternating by responding with "I do" to questions put to them by the officiant. It does not include an Affirmation of Marriage (i.e. Charge to the Couple), but one can be inserted very easily to personalize the ceremony.

Presentation of the Bride

Who brings this woman to be married?

Opening Words

Please gather around as we come together in the presence of this company to join these two in marriage. If life has meaning to us at all, it possesses it because of love. It is that which enshrines and ennobles our human experience. It is the basis for the peace of family and the peace of all humanity. The greatest gift bestowed upon humans is the gift not of demanding…but of giving love between two persons.

(Bride) and (Groom), your wedding today is the public and legal joining of your souls that have already been united as one in your hearts. Marriage will allow you a new environment to share your lives together, to face life and the world, hand-in-hand. Your union will expand you as individuals, define you as a couple, and deepen your love for one another.

Our setting at the beach today serves as a beautiful metaphor for marriage. Just as the conditions on the sea range from a blissful calm to a raging storm, so our relationships change through time. The shore absorbs the pounding of the surf as our love endures the pressures of change and growth. It is a strength that binds yet ennobles our human experience.  

Blessing of the Parents

From time immemorial, weddings such as this one have been public occasions where family and friends gather to express the joy and approval they feel for the new couple. Let me therefore ask the parents:

Do you, _________________ and _________________, who have raised and nurtured these two, give your blessings to them as they enter into this new relationship, and do you aspire in the days and years ahead to give them your deepest love, understanding, and support during both good times and bad? If so, please say, “We do.”  

Reading

At this time I invite, _____________ to come forward and read "Marriage Joins Two People In the Circle of Its Love" by Edmund O'Neill

 

Marriage is a commitment to life, to the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other human relationship can equal; a joining that is promised for a lifetime. Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. There may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child. Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller; memories are fresher; commitment is stronger; even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly. Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life. When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage,

they create a spirit unique to themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfill.

Exchange of Vows

(Bride) and (Groom), it is a great joy for me to be standing here with you on this day, sharing in you marriage ceremony and witnessing to the commitment you make to one another.

I remind you that the vows you are about to exchange belong entirely to you. The words I speak have no magical powers and nothing I say or do on this day can ultimately make your marriage endure with beauty, fidelity and joy. Only you, by the integrity and diligence of your life, can make these vows last.

So it is not to lofty words or institutions that we appeal at this hour of commitment, but to the resources which you draw from deep within yourselves…the deep well of human need, the need to live united and loving and complete in an imperfect world. So will you now please (join hands/turn to one another) and repeat your vows after me?  

(Groom)/(Bride), you are my one true love, 

my best friend, my soul mate. 

You complete my spirit 

and compliment my soul. 

Today, before our family, friends and the heavens, 

I pledge my love to you 

and promise to share the rest of my life with you.

Officiant: Do you (Bride)/(Groom), take (Groom)/(Bride) to be your husband/wife? Do you promise to stand by his side in both times of loss as well as times of gain? Trust, respect and celebrate him/her? Grow together by unselfishly encouraging, appreciating, nurturing and supporting him/her? Laugh, play and enjoy the simple pleasures together? Be there and comfort him/her always? And pledge your fidelity as long as you both shall live?  

Bride (repeat for Groom): I do.  

Ring Exchange

Marriage is a state in which two people come together and create a union greater than the sum of its parts. It is difficult to express in words the profound relationship that is love. The ring has long been a symbol of the sincerity and permanence of a couple's love for one another and regard for their marriage. As the circle can begin anew at any point, so a good marriage can pick any point to renew itself. These rings are symbols of your eternal love. Please repeat after me as you place the ring on your beloved’s left hand.

I give you this ring 

as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. 

As I place it on your finger, 

I commit my heart and soul to you. 

I ask you to wear this ring 

as a reminder of the vows  

we have spoken today, our wedding day.

 Sand Ceremony

(Bride) and (Groom), you have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings. Today this relationship is further symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand.

One, representing you, (Groom) and all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be. The other, representing you, (Bride) and all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be.

As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand are joined together as one. Our prayer for you today is that your lives together be longer than the time it would take to separate the individual grains of sand.

Blessing of the Marriage

May that glory which rests on all who love,

rest upon you, and bless you and keep you,

and fill you with happiness and a gracious spirit.

Despite all changes of time and fortune,

may all that is noble and lovely and true

abound in your hearts and abide with you,

and give you strength in all your days together.

Declaration of Marriage

What love has brought together, let no one break asunder. For as much as you, (Bride) and (Groom), have consented to live together in marriage and have pledged yourselves to one another, have declared the same by the giving and receiving of rings, with great pleasure and by the authority vested in me as a Minister in the state of Florida I do hereby pronounce you husband and wife. 

Ceremony Two

 

This is a secular ceremony (civil wedding) that includes a longer version of the sand ceremony and a butterfly release. I have also seen lady bugs used as well.

  

Presentation of the Couple

 

Who brings this man and this woman to be married this day?

 

Honored Escorts: We do. 

 

Opening Words

 

We gather joyfully this hour to witness the joining of this man and this woman in the sacred bonds of matrimony.  ____ and _____ have chosen to exchange their vows beside the sea because like the wonder of nature, their love for one another can never be contained within four walls. They invite you to take a moment to enjoy the sound of the roaring surf, the warmth of the sun, the smell of the fresh salt air and the feel of the sand between between your toes. These are the kinds of simple pleasures in life they wish to bring joy and wonder to their union. Thank you for standing with them and granting them you support on this, their wedding day.

 

Reading

At this time I invite ____________ to come forward to read from “A Natural History of Love” by Diane Ackerman. (Or the Minister can certainly read the passage instead of having an honored guest do so.)

"Love. What a small word we use for an idea so immense and powerful. It has altered the flow of history, calmed monsters, kindled works of art, cheered the forlorn, turned tough guys to mush, consoled the enslaved, driven strong women mad, glorified the humble, fueled national scandals, bankrupted robber barons, and made mincemeat of kings. How can love's spaciousness be conveyed in the narrow confines of one syllable? Love is an ancient delirium, a desire older than civilization, with taproots spreading into deep and mysterious days. The heart is a living museum. In each of its galleries, no matter how narrow or dimly lit, preserved forever like wondrous diatoms, are our moments of loving, and being loved." 

Affirmation of Marriage 

____ and ____, as you affirm your faith and love for one another this day, I ask that you always remember to hold each other as special and unique individuals. Respect one another's dreams and ideas. Do not let grudges take root, but instead be forgiving and compassionate. From this day forward you shall be each other's home and refuge. Guard it well. Build strength through the beauty of love. This is the core of your marriage and why you have come to make the pledges to one another you are about to exchange. Trust yourself and trust one another to know what is truly best for each of you and your marriage. A healthy marriage requires dedication and the ability to remain open to change--to learn and grow together. Have faith that even though you know not what the future may bring, you go face it together. Hold true to the journey you vow today to share forever. 

Exchange of Vows

Would you please turn to one another, join hands and look into one another's eyes as you repeat after me? (Minister prompts bride and groom in turn)

____________, I cannot imagine

spending the rest of my life with anyone but you.

I pledge my heart, my body and my soul to our union.

I promise to support you in your endeavors

 and counsel you when you need my guidance.

I will accept your counsel

with an open heart and open mind.

I will share my thoughts, dreams,

hopes and fears with you.

I will hold you close

when you laugh and when you cry.

I vow to be a strong individual within a solid union

so we may both grow in love and wisdom

all the days of our lives.

 

Blessing of the Rings

 

As circles have no beginning and no end, rings have naturally come to symbolize eternal love within the union of mind, body, and spirit that constitutes the sanctity of marriage. The are freely offered as gifts of faith and hope as visible signs of the promises given this day. May these rings be blessed and hold the dreams ____ and ____ share for their union. May the shiny metal mirror the sacred vows made between them, now and forever.

 

Exchange of Rings

____ please look into ____________’s eyes repeating after me as you place the ring on his/her hand.

I give this ring in remembrance of our vows,

a symbol of love that is complete, beautiful, and endless.

Sand Ceremony

________and _________, will you now step up to this table and hold close to your heart the container of sand representing the essence of all that you are and all that you bring to this union. As you do so, remember that like these grains of sand your differences and uniqueness are a wonderful gift that you give to one another, as important to your relationship as your commonality and the strength of your togetherness. Once this sand is poured it can never be separated, for it has moved on to create something new and beautiful, that shall be forever shared, much in that same way that your marriage will forever join your lives.

Bride and Groom come to to the table holding the sand and each take their own container of sand in hand

Will you now pour the sand that is to represent both your individuality and your togetherness within your union?

Bride and Groom intermingle their sand

As you pour remember marriage is a promise to be together in harmony and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. To empower each other and allow your relationship to evolve to it's highest purpose. To sing and dance together and be joyful. To care for one another, share your lives with one another and to unite in spirits with every fiber of your being. Bring your union to the foreground of your thoughts always and through all of your moments together, so that in the triumphs and trials that lie ahead, you will you will feel just as you do now - happy to be in love and married to one another. Be at peace and live more and more in the present, which is beautiful and stretches away beyond the limits of the past and towards the horizons of the future.

Bride and Groom finish pouring their sand

And will you now seal the vessel as a reminder that nothing is more important nor more sacred than the bond you share as husband and wife.

Bride and Groom seal the vessel

Marriage Blessing

Behold our family here assembled. We thank you for this place in which we dwell, for the love that unites us, for the peace accorded us this day, for the hope with which we expect the morrow, for the health, the work, the food, and the bright skies that make our lives delightful; for our friends in all parts of the earth. Bless this marriage with all the gifts for which we give thanks this day. 

Butterfly Release

The caterpillar is a lowly being, bound to the earth and bemoaned as an indiscriminate consumer of abundant vegetation. Yet this homely creature, with patience, care and sustenance becomes a venerated symbol of dignity and beauty.

 

We now ask that you open the envelopes presented to you when you arrived today. The release of these butterflies is important to (bride) and (groom) because it demonstrates their commitment to the cycle of life.

 

<guests release butterflies>

 

What is held captive cannot thrive. But when granted freedom in an environment of opportunity and respect, lives to bring about another generation. May (bride) and (groom's) marriage last as long as the offspring of these butterflies endure in grace and liberty. 

Declaration of Marriage 

What _________ and ____________ have brought together in the bonds of love, let not these bonds be broken. For as much as you have exchanged vows of sacred matrimony and symbolized your intent with the giving and receiving of rings, it is my pleasure as a Minister in the state of Florida to pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.

Ceremony Three

This is another secular ceremony (civil wedding) that includes a knot ceremony for a unity ritual and concludes with the guests participating by making a wish upon sea shells and tossing them into the surf. It also has a shorter version of the Blessing of the Hands.

Opening Words 

We come together on happy occasions such as ____ and ____'s wedding ceremony not to merely observe as two people pledge their love to one another. Our presence also indicates our affirmation of their decision to join together in marriage. Our setting at the beach today reminds us of the inevitable changes life will bring to ____ and ____. Just as the shoreline changes shape from the forces of wind, water and sand, but this beach remains, they will inevitably change as individuals and as a couple from the forces of time and fortune, yet their marriage will endure. Our blessings abound for ____ and ____ that they may be granted the beauty and strength we see around us today. 

Reading

At this time I invite ____________ to come forward to read from “A Gift From the Sea” by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. (Or the Minister can certainly read the passage instead of having an honored guest do so.)

One recognizes the truth of Saint Exupery's line: Love does not consist in gazing at each other. But in looking outward together in the same direction. For in fact, man and woman are not only looking outward in the same direction, they are working outward. Here one forms ties, roots, a firm base....Here the bonds of marriage are formed. For marriage, which is always spoken of as a bond, becomes actually, in this stage, many bonds, many strands, of different texture and strength, making up a web that is taut and firm. The web is fashioned of love. Yes, but many kinds of love: romantic love first, then a slow-growing devotion and, playing through these, a constantly rippling companionship. It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies, and shared experiences. It is woven of memories of meetings and conflicts; of triumphs and disappointments. ...The web of marriage is made by propinquity, in the day to day living side by side, looking outward and working outward in the same direction. It is woven in space and in time of the substance of life itself. 

Affirmation of Marriage 

____ and ____, I remind you of the serious nature of the relationship you are about to enter.  Your marriage is a voluntary and absolute commitment you make to love one another from this day forward. For your marriage to succeed, you must be loyal each other, stand solid in your defense of the other and support one another’s aspirations and and dreams.  It is a solemn, binding,  challenging, yet ultimately rewarding partnership. Many of around you will not hesitate to share the challenges of marriage. Much less frequently do we hear of the sublime joys of this sacred estate. I ask you to keep your conflict private and make your bliss public. Praise one another often and complain rarely. Find to bestow compliments when criticisms seem to prevail. Renew the vows you are about to exchange regularly and endeavor to keep them vibrant and fresh in your loving hearts forever. 

Exchange of Vows 

___, please look into _____’s eyes as you repeat after me. 

I love you ______ with all my heart and soul,

as you are everything

that I could ever hope to find in a woman/man.

You are loving, thoughtful, and caring,

smart, and beautiful/handsome in my eyes

and your love always makes me feel

like the happiest and luckiest man/woman alive.

I am proud to have you as my life's partner

and I promise that I will always be at your side,

through good times and in bad,

and give you everything

that is in my power to grant

to assure your health and happiness

 for as long as I live.

I am yours forever. 

Blessing of the Hands 

_____ and _____, please hold one another's hands and see the gifts they are to you. These are the hands that will work together as you build your future. These are the hands that will give you strength, supporting and encouraging you in all your endeavors. These are the cherished hands that will help you to express your love, compassion and desire.

These are the hands that will always be there to wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy. They will cradle your children in their loving embrace, helping keep your family warm and secure.  

May these hands we see before us this day be blessed. May they long be held by wonder another, remaining tender and gentle. May these hands help to create a relationship founded in love, rich in caring and devoted to one another always. May these hands that will hold your rings, forever be ready to reach out to one another in the glory of your love. 

Blessing of the Rings 

Let us bless these rings. These circles, symbols that remind us of the the sun that shines above us, the Earth holding the sand beneath our feet and the cycle of the tides before us that rise and fall against this beach. In this moment, bring blessings to these rings to be symbols of unity, commitment and renewal. Grant that the love which _____ and ____  feel for each other this day reside always in their hearts.

Exchange of Rings 

____, please look into ___’s eyes repeating after me as you place the ring on his/her finger. 

May this ring be a symbol

of my promises to you

and a reminder of my devotion to you.

I am honored to call you my (wife/husband). 

Knot Ceremony 

At this time I ask ________ and ________'s mothers to come forward to represent their respective families. These families have raised and nurtured this man and this woman and helped them become the person each holds most dear. It is right and fitting to acknowledge that now these two previously separate circles of love are being united in a new and wider circle.

 

_______, I ask you now to drape the cord over your son's wrist. This cord represents all the wishes and blessings your family bestows upon your child, all that he is now and all that he may become.

 

_______, I ask you now to drape the cord over your daughter's wrist. This cord represents all the wishes and blessings your family bestows upon your child, all that she is now and all that she may become.

 

________ and ________ please tie these cords over your children's hands as a visual symbol of the joining of your two families through their hearts, bodies and souls. Our prayer today is that their marriage endure in faith and fidelity knowing they have the blessing and support of the families that gave them life, hope and love.

 

(Minister places a hand over the knot.)

 

At this time I ask everyone present to join in a moment of silence as we think about the blessings we wish for _____ and _____'s marriage.

 

(Minister removes the knot and hands it to an attendant for safe keeping). 

So may it ever be. 

Blessing of the Marriage 

Bless this marriage, as ____________ and ______________ begin their journey through life together. May your home be filled with laughter and warm embraces. May you find peacefulness and beauty, challenge, and satisfaction, humor and insight, healing and renewal, love and wisdom, within your union. May you always feel what you have is more than enough. 

Declaration of the Marriage 

_________ and __________, as you have exchanged vows of love in our presence, pledged your faith and declared your unity by each giving and receiving a ring, and, as you are now joined together in mutual esteem and devotion, it is my joy and privilege as a Minister in the state of Florida to pronounce you joined in matrimony. Please begin your marriage with a kiss. 

Wish Upon a Shell 

At this time, would everyone please take a shell from the basket and follow me to the shoreline. On each shell you will find written ______ and _____'s names and today's date--the day they begin their life together as husband and wife. Please take a moment to think about the future of their union. Make a wish, say a prayer or just think a special thought for this happy couple....and then toss your shell into the ocean where your hopes and dreams will become one of the universe and join the well wishes of all of us gathered here today.

Ceremony Four 

This is a non-denominational theist ceremony. It recognizes the importance God holds in the couple's lives, but does not use specifically Christian language. The ceremony includes a scripture reading from the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) and a wine ceremony. This ceremony also incorporates the little used, but absolutely lovely Bell of Truce.

Presentation of the Bride: Who brings this woman to be married this day? (Honored Escort responds.) 

Opening Words 

_____ and _____ bid you welcome and express their gratitude for your presence as they pledge their love and fidelity in the holy estate of matrimony on this joyful this day. We gather on this beach where the pounding of the surf, the light of the sun and the glory that is nature represent the strength, power and grandeur ___ and ___wish to bring to their union. The strength of their commitment, the power of their spirits and the wonder of their love bring us to this hour. May they always feel the depth of these emotions like the depths of these waters and their marriage endure in beauty and in faith. 

Declaration of Intent 

Do you, ____ and _____ come here legally and spiritually free to pledge yourselves to one another in holy matrimony? 

We do. 

Opening Prayer  (St. Francis of Assisi)

Lord, make us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, Grant that we may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. 

Affirmation of Marriage 

____ and ____, I ask that you both remember to treat yourselves and each other with compassion and respect, and remind yourself often of the love that brings you together this day. Give your marriage the tenderness and kindness it deserves and needs to thrive. Acts of loving kindness open the heart and magnify a love that knows no bounds. When frustration and disappointment challenge your marriage - as is inevitable in every relationship - devote your attention to what is good between you, not just the part that seems wrong at the time. Thus, when the storm clouds of strife hide the sun in your lives you may recall the sun is still there ready to shine brightly again by the diligence of your words and deeds. If each of you take responsibility for the quality of your marriage, your lives together will endure in beauty and delight.  

Exchange of Vows 

___ and ____, please turn to one another, join hands and in so doing, join your hearts. ____ please look into ____’s eyes as you repeat after me. 

As we stand here with our family and friends

and in the midst of God ‘s eternal love

I, __________,  pledge my dedication to you.

You are the one person who, with your love,

has given me the hope

of a future full of happiness.

I give to you everything

within my heart, body and soul to give

As long as I shall live. 

Blessing of the Rings 

Let us ask God’s blessings upon these rings. These circles, symbols that remind us of the the sun that shines above us, the Earth holding the sand beneath our feet and the cycle of the tides before us that rise and fall against this beach. In this moment, bring blessings to these rings to be symbols of unity, commitment and renewal. Grant that the love which _____ and ____  feel for each other this day reside always in their hearts. Amen. 

Exchange of Rings 

____, please look into ____’s eyes repeating after me as you place the ring on his/her finger. 

__________, I give you this ring

as a symbol of my vow,

and with all that I am, and all that I have,

I honor you, in God’s name. 

Reading 

A Reading from the Book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 4 Verses 9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their effort.  For if they fall, one will lift up the other;  but woe to the person who is alone when he stumbles and has not a helpmate to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, they are warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though someone might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand any challenge. 

Wine Ceremony

It is the goal of marriage to achieve a blending of hearts and lives—but let there be spaces in your new life together, so that each may encourage and nurture the individual growth of the other. Even so, your separate lives will become one life; your separate homes, one home, your separate fortunes, one fortune.

Over the horizon of the future, there come toward you even now hours of brightness and hours of shadow—for such is the nature of life.

(Pick up the goblet of sweet wine.)

Life has, indeed, many bright and happy experiences, of which this sweet wine is a token. As you drink of it together, may it serve as a symbol of the joy that comes with loving and sharing, and may your happiness be tempered with gratitude and modesty and a bountiful sympathy for those who are less fortunate than you.

(Pass goblet to partner #1, who drinks and passes it to partner #2, who drinks and passes it back to you. Return goblet to table and pick up goblet of bitter wine.)

But when hardship and sorrow and disappointment come, of which this bitter wine is a token, may you care enough to help one another with courage and compassion, neither one blaming the other for folly or failure, or regretting the obligation of marriage to share and bear together the chances and changes of a life deeply lived.

(Goblet is passed as above.) 

Blessing of the Marriage 

May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace. May your troubles grow few as your blessings increase. May the saddest day of your future Be no worse than the happiest day of your past.May your hands be forever clasped in friendship And your hearts joined forever in love. Your lives are very special, God has touched you in many ways. May his blessings rest upon you And fill all your coming days. Amen. 

Presentation of the Bell of Truce

Bells have long been associated with weddings as their joyous tones announce good tidings. I present this bell to _____ and ______. I ask them to give the bell a hardy ring while thinking lovely thoughts about one another and their future life together.

<couple rings bell>

_____ and ______, keep this bell in your home to remind you of your wedding day. When arguments arise, and they will, put this bell to its best use. One of you should ring the bell to call a truce. Its sound will remind you of your wedding vows, conjure up the happiest memories from this day and help you resolve our differences lovingly and compassionately.

Declaration of Marriage 

____ and ____ , in the presence of God and this company, you have pledged yourselves to one another in love, compassion, righteousness and truth and symbolized your vows with the giving and receiving of rings. In the presence of these witnesses it is my honor and joy as a member of the clergy in the state of Florida to pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.